Sisters under The Morrigan
free image - michitermo
For as long as I can remember I have been passionate about protecting the rights of Women, all women, despite the backlash that such a statement inevitably earns. I have been called a professional victim for speaking out about sexual abuse, my own, and other peoples, and the broken legal system which allows so many perpetrators to go unpunished. I have been called a man-hater, an enemy of men, when generally I love men, their humour, their company, I just do not think we are not equal in value.
To stand shield to shield with women is part of my path under The Morrigan, and I will fiercely defend that. Over the years I have fought my own conditioning and shadows around the idea that other women are not to be trusted, that they will betray your confidence, gossip about you, cheat with your partner, steal from you, lie about you, copy you, bully you... I was raised with this conditioning, and the sad truth is that all of these have occurred in my lifetime. The truth of the matter though is such standards of behaviour are indicative of problems within a persons' soul, and are not dependant on anything other than their choice to behave in such a way. It's not a gender issue, it's a people issue. Not that it makes it hurt any less when we are subjected to it.
I do not believe in solely love and light, or spiritual bypassing, or venerating one gender above another. I do not believe I am free from my words, or have never failed in my attempts to be a better woman.
I believe in the need to keep trying under The Morrigan to find a better way of being.
Over the years, I have made mistakes too.
It is easy to vent or gossip in moments of anger and frustration, and I don't think there is a woman alive who hasn't done that. I have believed the word (lies) of a man over a woman, when I should not have, usually because she seemed mentally unwell or aggressive, when the truth was she was angry and hurting. I have raged because other women have made sexual passes at the man I was with, or behaved in ways I deem to be dishonourable. I have had to course-correct myself many times.
I believe in counselling, and asking the bigger questions of myself, how much was I responsible for a situation? Where did I go wrong? Sometimes, on occasion, you look at a situation knowing that this time, you didn't do anything that merited the behaviour of another, but you can learn something about yourself in that moment, amongst the pain. It would be easy to shut down and never trust another person again, but when walking the path of The Morrigan, over and over again we meet the fork in the road of our path - what is easy, or what is (we believe to be) right.
Hopefulness is always right.
"I'm not against Hope,
I just think Hope has teeth.
It snarls and howls
To remind the world that
It survived at the base
Of all those horrors
Gave up its ground." - Songs of Shades, Vol.4
I cannot - and must not - believe that the actions of one woman apply to women en masse, and this is a symptom of our society which has a sickness when it comes to this. People come and go, and with a precious few you should hold on, says the sunscreen song. I find these words to ring with so much truth as I grow older, realising that love doesn't equal making yourself less for someones' comfort. It is not excusing people out of love - it should be that when mistakes are made (as humans do) that the actions following them are key.
free image by Nemke
I find myself watching several scenarios unfold where The Morrigan is involved on some level, at least, to hear people tell it. To say you believe in feminism under the Morrigan and then to stalk and bully women are two actions which do not align in honour or truth. You either believe in Feminism and unravelling the conditioning that pits woman against woman in a struggle for dominance that ultimately benefits none but those oppressing us, or you pay lip-service to it.
You either stand for empowering women who have endured sexual abuse or you believe the men who venerate and commit sexual violence.
In some situations, your choices betray you. To give a platform to a man who believes women should be raped in punishment betrays any ounce of credibility a woman could possess, and I do not believe that people "do not know," they simply choose to believe and stand by a male without listening to the women who actually knew him. Who were threatened by him and his stories of choking other women. Who were afraid, and ashamed.
This idea that empowering women only extends to those you deem worthy or have decided you like needs to end.
We will not all like each other. Some of us will fall out, have arguments, end relationships, and many of us are poorly educated on how to handle these circumstances with honour and grace. It is a learned skill, to feel the sharp pains of such a situation and not lash out, one that I have by no means perfected but stoically believe in the importance of.
Honour under The Morrigan is learning and relearning what it means to find an honourable path, to take the wounds, cleanse them out, heal them, and rise, and rise, and rise, leaving behind the rage once we have felt it or else be consumed and moulded by it.
People discuss Morrigan as though she is demonic, a beast full of vengeance and rage, and I wonder, have you so swallowed the patriarchal teachings of the church that smeared Her that you cannot hear Her voice underneath? Or is it easy to excuse your behaviour by claiming a Goddess is a mirror, or worse, to blame, for constantly engaging in squabbles?
You are hurting yourself and others, sister.
I know, because I have struggled with this conditioning myself. I still do. I have felt deeply harmed by those who I did nothing to but love, and the disappointment and pain was worse than anything I have felt.
But I know too, in my soul, that whilst everyone is not free from the consequences of their actions, no woman deserves abuse.
No one does.
All my Love,
The Starry Eyed Witch
free image Kladyk