Reclamation of the Broken Spirit
Image - Natalia Drepina source
The lost ones, the broken ones, the hurting. We remember the moments where we stared vacantly out into the world, feeling disconnected from it. Our illusions shattered, the promises of a fair, safe, world dissolving at our feet.
For myself, it was a moment in the back of a car, being driven away at 3am, watching the streets light blur into one another in a seemingly endless parade, each light stretching thin and eventually disappearing, a weird recollection through hazy vision. The distinct memory of dirt on the glass, and feeling like it ought to be raining. The rain was conspicuous by its absence. And telling myself that life would never be the same again.
It leaves a mark somewhere, those kinds of memories, that if we are not careful, we can slip back into the state of disconnection, feeling present only in body to the world around us. The world can be a hostile place, with an aggressive stance on conformity played infront of our eyes on a seemingly endless loop, whilst we are taught to always be ashamed.
The reclamation of self begins as we begin to reject conformity; the authentic self is seeking the courage to let the world see who you are without concealment of all the idiosyncrasies peculiar to our unique blend of human. It is the acceptance of the broken self that lends itself to reigniting the fires within ourselves. We know what it is to feel the icy grip of despair, a cruelty that goes beyond the painful into the realm of self abandonment; we have lost touch with the world around us for moments, leaving us an observer to the patterns of it; we study and examine from a peculiar vantage point.
Image - Natalia Drepina source
It is in nature that I am reminded I can be moved by what this world has to offer. When the atmosphere cracks in thunder and destructive elements grip the sky in a ballet of force so beyond us, or the rain rolls down a leaf in softly spoken prayer, running its length before slowly descending to the dirt beneath. Everything seems to shift in these moments, time takes on a personality of its own, slowing everything down or racing it forward, as the crows cry out or the soul feels lifted into a endless night of stars.
Was the Witch always within me? For to see the world through 'other' eyes thus is surely connected to that title, for all the good that titles do. I think perhaps it was, as I stumbled through forests as a child telling stories of ancient lands and magical spirits that others could not see. So how does one hold onto a spark of something wondrous when all else has been forcibly removed from you, when hopelessness and violence and abuse cling to your memories like dried on gory splatter? I tell the monsters that they do not own me. They can not have me, I am still here.
I will mark the world in every way I can, with honour, with truth, with beauty. In the retelling of stories both horrifying and true, refusing to be ashamed or allow others to be so conditioned, help them to refuse to be the same as one another, to discard the notion that there is a safety in those numbers, when instead, it is handing over the power to another to dictate who you are - instead of being who you want to be, who you are shaping yourself into, honouring the magickal spark within you that cannot be silenced.
Image - source
I will not be the same again. I will be more. I will stand, time and time again, between those who seek to abuse others, and rouse the war cry of the unprotected. I will remind them they do not need to apologize for how they survived, nor be taunted by a system which shuns them or encourages their silence.
I will not be the same again. I will embody the witch. I will reclaim my wild heritage on this earth, connected to the rolling thunderstorm and the lightning that crashes, bathe myself in the vast unconquered depths of the ocean and speak to the trees to hear their voices. I will remember the forgotten dead and the disregarded spirits to harness a live wire of power and magick. And in the face of all that mock I will grin with fox fangs and raven eyes in the knowing that they cannot shame me.
I will not be the same again. I know emptiness, and so I value connection. I know lies, and so I honour truth. I know bleakness and so I liberate my senses into a system of spiritual seeking. I know hatred and so I will pour out love from my heart. I know shame, and so I reclaim my sexuality.
I stand for the broken. I stand for the lost. I stand for the hurting. You will not have us. We will be here.
Many blessings Starlet, Stay Fluxy,
All my own work all rights reserved