I have been musing about how one takes control of ones own sovereignty in regards to the parts of ourselves that we might ‘give away’ in interactions with other people – whether unwittingly or knowingly, and the impact that it has on our selves.
With steering the best course so one does not get trampled underfoot of the wants and desires of other people, and yet not to become tyrannical in our approaches. The balance between personal boundary and the urge to support others. Where the line might be.
It is different for everyone – it is all a matter of perspective, and there cannot be simple answers. But these are some of the examples that have become tried and true at least personally… and when I am struggling, I ask, “what would my inner Queen do?”
“You better work, bitch.” I mean this Britney phrase with love, because if you do not engage in your holy work, who will? Who will have the voice that is yours, only yours, to smash the ceiling and break convention? Too often the human need to fit in, be accepted, get a nice pat on the head from those in the ‘popular crowd’ becomes the shackles that bind us from screaming, shouting, and implementing our truth, our knowledge, our own brand of weirdness in its actuality instead of providing an image that we think others want to see.
Create boundaries. I covered this only recently, when discussing The power in boundaries. How we create our own spiritual protections but give too much of ourselves away in our personal interactions with people. How can we reign over our destinies if we are constantly drained from the shackles of expected servitude?
Don’t expect support. This is a toughy. Seriously, the pain that this has caused my heart on occasion is difficult to describe, but ultimately, the only person who fully understands your vision, your purpose, your quest – is you. That is not to say you won’t find support, aid, even tribe along the way, because even the most introverted of us can find those like-minded souls who nourish us. But it is best to reconcile with the idea that YOU have to cheer-lead, for yourself.
Don’t give yourself away. This is a personal perspective one, but it boils down to self respect. Do not compromise your authenticity, your integrity, to further any situation. For myself, I fiercely dislike the notion of sleeping your way to the top. I find it demeaning, and feel it sets implication that women can’t be as talented as men. It makes life harder on those seeking to excel by merit. It breeds an abusive playground. I won’t tell anyone what to do with their body, that’s a choice. But that’s my bottom line, and I stand by it.
Speak. The world needs your voice.
Many blessings, Starlet, Stay Fluxy,