Crown Yourself in Roses
"That’s the thing about the Crow eyed women With their lips bedecked in otherness You might think for a moment they are infused with whimsy But Morrigan made them with steel bones We endure beyond the point of breaking..."
- Joey Morris 'Crow Eyed Woman'
It was Morrigan who whispered it, to crown yourself in Roses, deep in the middle of the night, when only the stars winked in their secret knowing, and I, halfway through the gate and certainly not yet down the path, did not quite understand. This was not the usual tones of hard resistance, and burning it all to the ground - and I have been censured before for sharing messages that were perceived "too soft" to be authentically Morriganic.
So for a time, I spoke of it without mentioning the source specifically, and then happily stumbled into a pit of Etymology which helped clear some of the fog;
"Crown... related to Greek korōnē "anything curved, a kind of crown," according to Watkins from a suffixed form of PIE root *sker- (2) "to turn, bend." But Beekes considers the "crown" sense as derived from the formally identical Greek word korōnē "crow" (see raven), which, he says, was used metaphorically "of all kinds of curved or hook-formed objects." "Moreover," he writes, "the metaphorical use of [korōnē] 'crow' is nothing remarkable given the use of its cognates ...; the metaphors may have originated from the shape of the beak or the claws of the bird." -Etymology
My thoughts began in gratitude, to mark nearly a years' freedom, where I honour, once again, how the community rallied around in my time of need, proving a liberating force and support beyond all expectation. I spoke then of how people threw roses into the grave of who I was, pinning them atop my head, crowning me in the Roses of their empathy, their generosity, their kindness... and that remains true, but was not the entirety of the lesson - for as others have crowned us, so too, must we crown ourselves.
As the etymology suggests, there is a turning, a bending, within our crowning, and that, to me, sounds like the process of Witchcraft; the bending of energy to ones will, shifting the current of our vibration, and leaning into the cycles. Sovereignty is a spiritual process; a journey of reclaiming all the parts of the self we have been trained to discard, to despise, to diminish... to wrap the talons of our inner Crow around our third eye and step between the world we think we know, and the one we see only with our Other Eyes.
To crown ourselves in Roses is to walk between the acts of being crowned by others and by ourselves, it is to rush headlong into the business of being alive and to embrace all that there is. It is personal responsibility; knowing that we always have a choice, and we can find ourselves in the balance.
I had recently begun a mindful practice of trying not to "whine" about negative situations and instead ask for help where and when I need it. To reach out into the spiritual ecosystem and say, "I am not okay right now," or when necessary to tell people 'no.' I have long struggled with giving away every part of myself, trying to help and be of service as much as possible, usually to my own detriment. 2019 has jokingly been referred to as the year that forced this Virgo to rest - and resent that rest as I might, it has been a necessary part of the process. There has been so much forced pausing, waiting, considering, and watching. Being watchful in silence, gleaning all the required information, and waiting to make a calculated move feels about as Morriganic as it gets; being forewarned is being forearmed.
What are the situations that do not merit our attention, our time, or our energy? Where do we bleed out energy when we should be weaving our crowns around our head, bending the light of our vibrancy and creativity? I visualize it as the nutrients leaking from the cuts in the stem rather than reaching the roses at the helm - sometimes those cuts are self-made and other times they are inflicted by others, just the same way as we can crown ourselves in roses and so can other people. This is the shadow side of the process.
"I am sorry, I am just a human And I'm made of mistakes Only miss it when I know I've lost it Only bend when it breaks But it's not just me who has been faulty Not just you who's in pain...
'Cause everybody bleeds the same."
There is some wisdom to be found in self doubt, which is not a subject that is usually addressed, it is labelled as "negative" and of detriment to the person, holding them back on the spiritual path. But there is balance, a medicine in all things, for in moments of doubt we can begin a process of accountability and change. Many do not want to be considered "weak" and so attach labels to themselves, flouting their experience, their abilities, the length of time they have practiced. All of it is a mirror to hide behind, and means nothing, in the grand scheme of things. They all rot and flutter away like ash flakes in the wind.
Crowning yourself is not about proving yourself. It is embodying yourself, as authentically as you can.
Many blessings Starlet,