One Weird ass Walpurgisnacht... Beltane Musings
This may well be the weirdest energetic lead up to Beltane that this Witch can remember, and not necessarily in a good way. The energies are less lustful fiery goodness and more murky water questionability, with the general snark of this year seemingly still in full force, be it snide remarks or downright frightening socio-political events, there seems to be a sliding scale of anti-empathetic behaviour all around.
The weather and Earth does not seem to be where it usually is, the cycles have felt off kilter with parts of the western world being entrenched in snow far later than usual, and only now are the first blossoms of Spring making themselves known. The world feels stilted, like it is lagging behind instead of surging forward; everything is vaguely sluggish and in need of a good cleanse.
The 'real witch' argument which I have stood against for years now has taken a insidious turn to the point where people are now presenting work that makes a moral judgment for everyone else before its even started because, to heck with debate, I suppose. I read something this morning with the premise 'when is it ever okay to curse', and incase you missed it, there is a heavy underlying emphasis on those words that cursing is by definition immoral and it is not okay to engage in it.
Having spent the best part of the month discussing alternative viewpoints on what 'baneful' work actually is, what it encompasses, and alternative perspectives which are not knee-jerk reactions for Become a Living God, I could write an essay on that subject alone - and I am in the process of doing so for content over there, as it happens. But what I will note here is there is an alarming trend with this that to me mirrors the policitcal abortion arguments; there are people passing moral judgments on what another person (woman, in the case of abortion) chooses to do with their body/life/practice. People see it is as a very emotionally loaded debate, wanting to take away all elements of personal choice and responsibility and blanket-dictate to everyone what they SHOULD do... trying to define what morality SHOULD be for everyone else.
This to me is a woeful misuse for our voices.
We can all have our opinions, and present reasonable arguments for them. It's called healthy debate and the world needs more of it as the political culture becomes "do as I say" with a unhealthy dose of fear tactics should you not. We, as Witches and the like, live at the fringes anyway, and have our finger on the energetic pulse to this world, and I personally feel it is my responsibility to stand up and be heard.
Separating this world into ideologies of 'good/evil light/dark' has always irritated me, from being very, very young, when I rejected that sort of dichotomy and instead chose to see the world in shades. This was fitting given that I saw actual shades everywhere, and heard ghost speak, and told stories to the trees and sang to the twilight hours. I embraced paganism because it spoke to me on a soul level of that mystery around me, that Otherness which I felt in my very bones. It also provided the freedom to shape my path and placed the responsibility for my choices firmly on my shoulders.
Later I trenched my way through an assault of opinions, quickly realising that my philosophy of "live and let live but speak when it matters" was far from universal, I was still being asked to justify myself; my ancestry, my heritage, my knowledge, my moral compass, my viewpoints, my gender, my relationships, the way I look and speak... and I STILL am being asked to do that... only in this weird energy that 'asked' has evolved into 'demanded' and just in case it was not clear by now; this Witch is not interested in your rules.
I have been told I am too dark for some, and not dark enough for others.
So I live happily in the in between of gothic aesthetic and glitter sparkle, and I embody that truth, for myself, It is who I am, authentically, and I no longer feel the need to justify it. I will however double down and get weirder (wyrd-er) than ever with it in defiance of being told to conform to ANY standard of what a 'real' witch is. And when inevitably the remarks come that I am self-absorbed for discussing how I feel about my spiritual path, I will remind you that the only person I can speak for is myself - because I am not arrogant enough to believe that one person could or should speak for witches en masse.
And when I am called arrogant and egotistical for speaking from a place of personal power (how dare I not be sweet and yielding) I will carry on and continue to empower others and myself as much as I can.
And so as I look at the love-making sabbat, I think it is no wonder many of us are just not in the mood - we are being asked to think about pleasure, wild abandon, sensuality, freedom and passion in an energetic environment that is stonewalling those concepts. Instead we are the smoldering embers of grit, and steel, and determination.
So this Beltane I think I will honour the fire, whilst trying to find a moment of frolic... but otherwise I will remember my Otherness and burn all else to ashes.
Many blessings, Starlets